The postpartum period, often referred to as the "4th trimester," is a time of profound transformation and adjustment for both mother and baby. At Doulas of Orange County, we believe in the power of holistic care during this sacred phase, incorporating time-honored modalities that promote healing, restoration, and bonding.
She Smiles: A Postpartum Support Story
It is seven o'clock. Her babies will not stop crying. As soon as she gets one of her twins settled, the other baby starts fussing. Laundry and receiving blankets draped over all the furniture, a bottle sticking out from between the couch cushions, and the sink is overflowing with dishes. She needs to make supper, but over the crying and through the fog of exhaustion, she cannot think of what to make.
She sits on the sofa, rocking the twin that she can't seem to soothe; the other sleeps in the bassinette beside her. She lets the tears flow. Postpartum was not supposed to be like this. She thought it would be different. She is not the woman who allows her house to get out of control. She is not the woman that does not shower in... how many days? But tomorrow is going to be different. Through her tears...
She smiles.
Today she called Doulas of Orange County. Tomorrow her postpartum doula is coming—just one more night of take-out, and tears, and tired.
…
It was a long night.
Or a short night. It depends on how you look at it.
She dresses. Rather, she changes into more presentable pajamas. The phone rings! Her postpartum doula wants to know if she needs anything from the shops. Milk, diapers... She peers into the almost empty fridge. Everything? No problem. Her postpartum doula will help her with a meal plan and the shopping.
Soon after, her postpartum doula arrives. Both babies are adored, and she heads to the bath for a much-needed soak. She luxuriates in the silence. Just water swishing. She conditions her hair and soaks away the tension. When she is finished in the tub, she takes her time, dressing, styling her hair, a little mascara. She feels human again.
In the kitchen, her postpartum doula has loaded the dishwasher, wiped all the counters, and banished the piles of pizza boxes. There is a pot of tea steeping on the counter and a plate of toast. It is for her. The babies who never sleep at the same time are magically content in their swings, so she curls up in her favorite chair and just watches them be.
Her postpartum doula sits down beside her, and together they plan meals based on family preferences. Her doula will whip up a few things for today from what is left in the house, and tomorrow she will pick up the groceries on her way.
One baby is hungry, and she is more than ready to be close to them again. With her postpartum doula's assistance, she tries a new breastfeeding position. While she feeds her baby, her postpartum doula gathers the laundry, sorts it, and starts the wash. She can do this. She knows it now.
That evening she puts her twins into her carrier the way her postpartum doula showed her. Her husband comes in and is blown away by the difference in her. Somehow, she became even more beautiful the day she became the mother of his children. She serves the stew from the slow cooker, and with the babies in their bassinettes nearby, they watch a movie while they eat.
She looks at her little family. She looks around at the house she has made a home. This is her life. Her beautiful life. This moment is perfect. It is everything she dreamed it would be.
She smiles.
Are My Twins Too Old For Postpartum Doula Care?
The Doulas of Orange County office phone rings.
I pick up. “Hello! Doulas of Orange County. Lauren speaking.”
A strained voice sounds relieved to hear me, and it sounds like she has been crying. She’s an exhausted new mom of 12-week old twins and a 20-month-old toddler (who won’t let her out of his sight). She’s drained from her twin pregnancy, a difficult birth, and breastfeeding challenges. She struggles to keep up with laundry and wash enough dishes to have plates for the next meal. Her partner has been trying to feed the baby at night, but she’s still waking up to pump for multiples and can’t help but feel guilty about how tired her partner will be at work the next day. She really needs a postpartum doula in Irvine, CA.
“Can you help me, even though my babies are so old?” She asks.
The Pantry: Postpartum Pasta Salad
I really love cooking for postpartum clients - generally I make light and meals. This way I’m not spending the entire postpartum visit in the kitchen and can still help with breastfeeding, newborn care, and anything else the new parents need. Postpartum nutrition is incredibly important, especially for the first several months. Your body goes through a huge transition after giving birth and nourishing it with healthy, nutritious, and soul-filling foods goes a long way in supporting your postpartum recovery.
Talk to your postpartum doula about your nutritional needs, any allergies/sensitivities and cravings. Ask for her favorite crockpot recipes or snack ideas, I guarantee she’ll have tons to share!
Today I’m going to share with you one of my favorite postpartum meals: Postpartum Pasta Salad.
What Does a Postpartum Doula Do? - Part Two
Last week we shared Part 1 of our three-part series on the role of a Postpartum Doula. And today we are continuing on with the ABCs of a Postpartum Doula with Part 2!
J- Judgment Free Zone - There are so many different ways to parent and the needs of every family vary. Your doula will never question your choices and will always offer her support and expertise without judgment. We believe having a judgment-free doula is imperative. Read more about why here.
K- Kangaroo Care - Bonding is crucial for your baby and for you. Your doula is there to facilitate and encouraging different avenues of bonding. From skin-to-skin, to babywearing, to bath time - there are lots of ways to enjoy your time with your baby. Bonus - it helps balance your mood and babies too!
L- Listening - To be frank, there are some postpartum visits where we just sit on the couch with some tea and listen. Pregnancy, birth, & postpartum are transformative moments in a person’s life and there is a lot of change in a very short period of time. Sometimes you’ll just need to talk things out and you will have a compassionate listener there to do so.
M- Mental Health - Postpartum Depression is taboo. It’s a scary thing for people to think about. It’s also only one piece of the wide spectrum of postpartum mood disorders. Not only does your doula know what signs to look for she can bring them to your attention and get you connected to resources and treatment. Postpartum mood disorders do not discriminate. No one is immune. And support is crucial. There is no shame in getting help and your doula will be there for you throughout the process. Additionally, some studies show that having postpartum help can reduce the risk of postpartum mood disorders.
N- Normalizing - Babies do random things. They make weird noises and breathe differently than we do, especially the first few days of life. If you’re new to this baby thing seeing some of these random things may cause panic or fear. But your doula has seen it all and will be there to remind you that it’s normal and nothing to be concerned about. If she cannot reassure you that it’s normal she will encourage you to reach out to your pediatrician.
O- Organization - Diapers, creams, wipes, onesies, socks, swaddles, clothes from 0 months to 3 years… so many baby things all in one small nursery! As an expert in baby care and pros at finding nursery solutions she can help organize things so they make sense and are quick to find in the dark at 2am. During her regular visits she’ll make sure that all of your supplies are stocked and alert you if anything needs to be purchased. She can even do a Target run for you!
P- Privacy - Our doulas do not and will not share personal information about any of our clients. Ever. Read more about our Privacy Pledge here.
Q- Quiet - Babies cry. Sometimes more than you might expect. Crying is a babies way of communicating but deciphering WHAT your baby is trying to communicate can be tricky at first. During your postpartum visits your doula can offer you some respite from the crying. She can take over care of your baby and send you to your bedroom with earplugs so you can sleep without interruption knowing full well that your baby is being beautifully cared for.
R- Reality - She won’t sugar coat stuff for you (unless that’s what you really need). She’ll tell you the truth about the realities of parenting and help you finds solutions for things that are challenging. And she’ll do it with grace and humor. Your doula will keep it real because we believe that you deserve to know the truth about parenting so you’re not blindsided by the unknown.