The Doulas of Orange County office phone rings.
I pick up. “Hello! Doulas of Orange County. Lauren speaking.”
A strained voice sounds relieved to hear me, and it sounds like she has been crying. She’s an exhausted new mom of 12-week old twins and a 20-month-old toddler (who won’t let her out of his sight). She’s drained from her twin pregnancy, a difficult birth, and breastfeeding challenges. She struggles to keep up with laundry and wash enough dishes to have plates for the next meal. Her partner has been trying to feed the baby at night, but she’s still waking up to pump for multiples and can’t help but feel guilty about how tired her partner will be at work the next day. She really needs a postpartum doula in Irvine, CA.
“Can you help me, even though my babies are so old?” She asks.
“Pardon me?” I ask, confused.
“My twins. They’re 12 weeks old. We had a postpartum doula. She was amazing, but she said we had graduated from her care and no longer needed a postpartum doula. She suggested we find a nanny or a mother’s helper of some kind. I just really loved having a postpartum doula. Can you help me, even though my babies are too old?”
“Oh! Of course, we can help you! We know how important support is, regardless of how old your twins are! We can help you find a postpartum doula or a newborn care specialist who has experience with twins and multiples, depending on your needs at this stage.”
I’m not sure why this happened. Perhaps the doula had other clients she needed to shift her focus to. Maybe she was trained by an organization where new postpartum doulas are told that their scope of practice is limited to the “fourth trimester.” I don’t know. What I do know is when a family wants to be supported, they deserve support.
The sense of abandonment this client felt by the person who had promised to “mother the mother” is heartbreaking. Unfortunately, this was not the first time I’ve received a call from a desperate parent who has been told that they no longer need a postpartum doula or that their baby was too old for a postpartum doula.
We promise you will never feel abandoned when working with a Postpartum Doula or Newborn Care specialist affiliated with Doulas of Orange County. Our team will support you from conception to toddlerhood if that’s what you need! We are committed to caring for you and your family for as long as you require our services—you decide when you’re ready to move on.
The postpartum period is not definable as a matter of weeks or months. Once a person gives birth, they are forever postpartum. There are also no standard timeframes for feeling recovered from childbirth. Adding a new person to your family is a monumental transition. There are many adjustments and other changes throughout the years when children are small.
We’re going to be there for you. That’s a promise.
