"My friends would judge me if they knew.”
"I'm embarrassed that I had to ask for help."
"I'm afraid people will think I'm a bad mom."
What do these statements have in common?
They're all phrases I've heard from sleep coaching clients. And they are all surrounded in fear of judgment.
Most people who have chosen to sleep train their baby (regardless of the method they chose) will tell you how it saved their sanity, but they may also share that the process can be a little (or a lot) nerve wrecking. From shame surrounding their need for help, to a fear of being judged, to being unsure if it will work; parents who choose to sleep train, often have to overcome a few hurdles of their own.
We all know that parenting is hard. No one tells you just how difficult it can be, especially when you're sleep-deprived, trying to keep it all together, and doing your best to be the perfect parent. But here's the thing: no one is perfect, and asking for help doesn't make you any less of a good parent. In fact, it shows strength, wisdom, and the desire to do what's best for both you and your baby.
When it comes to sleep training, it’s not simply about getting your baby to sleep through the night… although, that’s often a primary goal… it's about reclaiming your peace of mind, restoring your energy, and giving yourself the space to be a better, more present parent. Yet, despite all the benefits, there's still a huge stigma surrounding sleep training.
Why? Because there’s this belief that asking for help means you’ve failed. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
In our culture, we tend to equate parenting with self-sacrifice. The idea that a good parent is one who never asks for help, never complains, and always puts their child’s needs first (even to their own detriment) can feel suffocating. So, when parents reach out for support, whether it’s for sleep training or anything else, they often feel like they're not living up to the "ideal" parent image.
But here's the truth: asking for help doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a responsible one.
When your baby’s sleep is affecting your own well-being, it’s not selfish to ask for help. It's necessary. The emotional and physical toll of chronic sleep deprivation can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even depression. A well-rested parent is a better parent, and when you’re feeling good, you can show up for your little one with the energy and patience they deserve.
The Power of a Sleep Coach
Now, you may be wondering, “What does working with a sleep coach actually look like?” Here at Doulas of Orange County, we offer a unique and personalized approach to sleep coaching, including both live-in and hybrid options. Our sleep coaches aren’t just there to help your baby sleep—they’re there to support you, provide guidance, and offer a non-judgmental space where you can ask questions, express concerns, and feel heard.
Our live-in sleep coaching service provides the ultimate support, as one of our experienced coaches comes to stay with your family for a few days & nights (or longer), helping implement the customized sleep plan in real time. This allows for direct supervision and immediate feedback, so you don’t have to worry about doing it alone. You’ll have someone there to guide you, providing reassurance and adjustments as needed.
For those who prefer more flexibility, our hybrid sleep consulting options would be a good fit. This option combines virtual sessions with in-person visits, offering a personalized plan and ongoing support, but with the convenience of doing most of the work from the comfort of your own home and with your own style. You’ll receive tailored advice, troubleshooting, and encouragement during each phase of the process, making it easier to stay on track and feel confident in your decisions.
What Can You Expect from Sleep Coaching?
If you're considering working with a sleep coach, here’s what you can expect:
A Personalized Sleep Plan: Each baby is unique, so we don’t take a one-size-fits-all approach. Your coach will assess your baby’s current sleep habits, your family’s routine, and your goals, and create a plan that is tailored specifically to your situation. This might include adjusting bedtime routines, teaching your baby to fall asleep independently, reducing the use of certain sleep props, or gradually transitioning to a new sleep schedule.
Ongoing Support: Sleep training isn’t a “set it and forget it” process. It’s a journey. That’s why our coaches offer continuous support and encouragement. Whether it’s a check-in call, virtual troubleshooting session, or an in-person visit, you’ll never feel like you’re on this journey alone. We’ll be with you through it all, answering your questions and providing guidance if things don’t go as planned. Because lets face it, the life of a baby is always changing, setbacks may happen and you’ll want support through those.
Confidence Building: One of the biggest benefits of working with a sleep coach is the confidence you gain. We’re here to empower you as a parent, help you trust your parenting instincts, and teach you the tools you need to succeed. By the end of your sleep coaching journey, you’ll feel confident in your ability to navigate your baby’s sleep needs, and that confidence will extend beyond sleep into other areas of parenting as well.
A Non-Judgmental Environment: When you’re struggling with sleep issues, it can be easy to feel judged. Maybe you’re worried about your baby’s sleep habits or feel like you’re not doing it “right.” Our coaches are here to reassure you that there’s no such thing as a “perfect” parent. We’re here to support you without judgment and to help you find the best path forward for your family.
A Holistic Approach: Sleep coaching isn’t just about getting your baby to sleep—it’s about creating a healthy, sustainable routine for your family. Our sleep coaches work with you to ensure that your baby’s sleep plan aligns with your family’s values and lifestyle, allowing for long-term success without feeling like a burden.
Releasing the Shame and Embracing the Help You Deserve
It's time to stop believing the lie that asking for help makes you weak or less capable as a parent. The reality is that reaching out for support when you need it shows wisdom and strength. It’s a sign that you’re not afraid to do what’s best for your family, even if it means asking for help along the way.
Sleep coaching is an investment in both your baby’s health and your own. It’s about getting the rest you need so you can be the best parent you can be. It’s about reducing the stress and anxiety that comes with sleepless nights and creating a peaceful, nurturing environment for your baby to thrive.
So, if you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure about sleep training, remember this: it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to do it alone. With the right support, you can create a sleep plan that works for your family and get the rest you deserve.
If you’re ready to take the first step towards better sleep, our team of sleep coaches at Doulas of Orange County is here for you. We’ll help you reduce the shame, break the cycle of sleep deprivation, and guide you toward a peaceful, restful night for your whole family. Because you deserve it.
Let’s talk about how we can help you get the sleep—and the peace—your family needs. Reach out today to learn more about our live-in and hybrid sleep coaching options. Your well-rested self will thank you!