She Smiles: A Postpartum Support Story

It is seven o'clock. Her babies will not stop crying. As soon as she gets one of her twins settled, the other baby starts fussing. Laundry and receiving blankets draped over all the furniture, a bottle sticking out from between the couch cushions, and the sink is overflowing with dishes. She needs to make supper, but over the crying and through the fog of exhaustion, she cannot think of what to make.

She sits on the sofa, rocking the twin that she can't seem to soothe; the other sleeps in the bassinette beside her. She lets the tears flow. Postpartum was not supposed to be like this. She thought it would be different. She is not the woman who allows her house to get out of control. She is not the woman that does not shower in... how many days?  But tomorrow is going to be different. Through her tears...

She smiles.

Today she called Doulas of Orange County. Tomorrow her postpartum doula is coming—just one more night of take-out, and tears, and tired.

…

It was a long night.

​Or a short night. It depends on how you look at it.

She dresses. Rather, she changes into more presentable pajamas. The phone rings! Her postpartum doula wants to know if she needs anything from the shops. Milk, diapers... She peers into the almost empty fridge. Everything? No problem. Her postpartum doula will help her with a meal plan and the shopping.

Soon after, her postpartum doula arrives. Both babies are adored, and she heads to the bath for a much-needed soak. She luxuriates in the silence. Just water swishing. She conditions her hair and soaks away the tension. When she is finished in the tub, she takes her time, dressing, styling her hair, a little mascara. She feels human again.

In the kitchen, her postpartum doula has loaded the dishwasher, wiped all the counters, and banished the piles of pizza boxes. There is a pot of tea steeping on the counter and a plate of toast. It is for her. The babies who never sleep at the same time are magically content in their swings, so she curls up in her favorite chair and just watches them be.

Her postpartum doula sits down beside her, and together they plan meals based on family preferences. Her doula will whip up a few things for today from what is left in the house, and tomorrow she will pick up the groceries on her way.

One baby is hungry, and she is more than ready to be close to them again. With her postpartum doula's assistance, she tries a new breastfeeding position. While she feeds her baby, her postpartum doula gathers the laundry, sorts it, and starts the wash. She can do this. She knows it now.

That evening she puts her twins into her carrier the way her postpartum doula showed her. Her husband comes in and is blown away by the difference in her. Somehow, she became even more beautiful the day she became the mother of his children. She serves the stew from the slow cooker, and with the babies in their bassinettes nearby, they watch a movie while they eat.

She looks at her little family. She looks around at the house she has made a home. This is her life. Her beautiful life. This moment is perfect. It is everything she dreamed it would be.

She smiles.

Packing Your Hospital Bag

Woohoooo! You've made it to the third trimester and the reality that your baby is arriving soon has probably hit you like a ton of bricks! If you're like most of our clients, you want to be as prepared as possible for your birth and this means getting your hospital bag packed and organized by 36 or 37 weeks. If you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by this task - we’ve created an easy, but comprehensive list to make it easier on you. Having your bag packed and ready to go will help you feel more at ease as you enter these last few weeks of pregnancy and prepare to meet your sweet baby!

GRAB YOUR FREE PRINTABLE HERE!

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Hospital Bag Must Haves:

These are the things you shouldn't skip! Even if this is the bare minimum that you pack - don't forget these items! 

• Prescription Medications

• Toiletry Items: Face wash, moisturizer, tooth brush, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, contact solution, etc. (They do not have most of these items at the hospital so definitely bring your own!)

• Glasses (if you're a contact-lense wearer)

• Slippers (we recommend throwing them away after)

• Comfortable clothing: if you're not interested in wearing a hospital gown for birth or postpartum then make sure you have clothing that allows for easy access to your belly and your nether-regions.

• Chapstick or lip moisturizer

• Hair ties

• Outfit to wear home: non-restrictive clothing is best!

• 1 or 2 extra pillows (covered in old or dark pillow cases that can be tossed afterwards)

• Cell phone/Tablet chargers

• Nursing tanks & bras

• Ear plugs & eye mask (helpful for those that need a little extra help to fall asleep!)

• Several copies of your birth/baby care plan

• Photo ID and insurance card

• Snacks for you and your partner! (grab our free printable for packing labor snacks here!)

Some Convenient Extras

These are great options to have for comfort in labor.

• Blue Tooth speaker

• Pre-prepped play lists (we recommend creating several - some with upbeat songs to energize you, others with relaxing sounds and no lyrics to help you focus)

• Fitness Ball (some hospitals have these, but they may not always be available or be the right size. When in doubt, it's helpful to bring your own).

• Essential Oils for labor

• Rebozo or a long scarf

• Christmas lights (read more about why here)

Partner Essentials

We haven't forgotten about your awesome partner! The following is helpful to have on hand to make their experience enjoyable!

• Snacks!! (we take eating seriously, don't forget food!)

• Hydrating beverages

• Personal toiletries

• Comfy clothing

• Breath mints or gum

• Comfy shoes

• Text/Call/Email list to announce the birth

• Extra layers (hospitals get cold then hot then cold again - dress in layers!)

• Phone/Tablet charger

• Treats for the nurses (protein bars, cookies, chocolate, etc. are all big hits!)

Baby Needs

Your little one doesn't need much and the hospital has most of it especially diapers, wipes and swaddles! Many of these items are optional.

• Cloth diapers/wipes (if you're choosing to use cloth, you'll need approximately 10-12 diapers per day to be safe). Don't forget your wet bag for storage!

• Soft swaddles

• Going home outfit

• Socks

• Onesies (2)

• Infant car seat

We hope this list is helpful as you get ready for your baby's birth day! Is there a "must-have" that we missed? We'd love to hear from you! Share your ideas in the comments!

The DOC Privacy Pledge

In a digital age where "likes" on Instagram are coveted and scrolling through Facebook is a daily hobby, maintaining healthy boundaries with social media can be difficult. It's a conversation we bring up with all of our birth and postpartum doula clients as well as our childbirth education students. It's always a fun topic that gets people thinking. 

Have you thought about what you'd like to share on social media when it comes to pregnancy, birth, and beyond? Have you talked to your family about how and when they can share the news of your baby's birth, photos, etc.? Will you be sharing every milestone with friends & family as your baby grows?

Every family is unique in their approach to social media and we believe it's a relevant discussion to have prior to your birth to establish boundaries with those closest to you. And the beauty is, there is no right or wrong answer! It's all about what you and your partner are comfortable sharing about your journey and experience. Some of the families we work with want to talk about their births or share about the care we provide publicly. They talk about the glorious sleep thanks to their overnight doula or post pictures of the entire birth team. We, of course, love this. Other families choose to keep everything private and off social media entirely. We, of course, respect this. We trust that you know what is best for you and your family. 

This is the main reason why Doulas of Orange County maintains strict confidentiality for all of our clients. In order to honor all of your choices and the varying degrees of involvement with social media, we chose to establish a policy that fully supports your confidentiality and privacy. We strive to maintain the highest levels of professionalism in the doula industry and our discreet care is why many choose us over the rest. 

So, what does privacy, confidentiality, and discretion mean to us?

It means that we will not post pictures of you or your baby on our social media pages. We won't share vague details or snippets of information about your birth, your baby, or your family. We won't even tell someone that you are our client, if that is your desire. If a time arises where we'd like to share more information such as a picture from your birth, a testimonial quote, a parenting success story or anything else, we will always get your permission first. And we fully respect your right to say no. Each member of our team agrees to uphold this same level of privacy, whether they are your birth doula, postpartum doula, lactation counselor, or placenta specialist. 

We love sharing about our business via social media and engaging our clients and our community. It is an incredible tool that we choose to use with integrity. Our agency is built on supporting your choices and your best vision of pregnancy, birth and parenting. It is with this in mind that we leave it up to you to decide how you'd like to share about your experience with your doulas, your baby's birth and your journey as a whole. It is your story to tell, not ours. We celebrate with you when you want to share, and we understand when you want to keep things private.

The work we do is raw, real, and intimate. We are there for some of the most incredibly vulnerable moments of your life and it is an honor to be invited into this sacred space to support your family. You put your trust in us and that is not something we take lightly. We vow to uphold that trust with our heartfelt privacy pledge.