Why a Judgment-Free Doula Matters

You'll here us talk about non-judgmental support A LOT in our work as doulas. This is the pillar on which our agency stands. But we're often asked, what does non-judmental support really mean? 

I remember the exact moment when I realized how important being a judgment-free doula was. I was at a baby shower chatting it up with some friends, including the guest of honor, the mama-to-be. Someone in the group asked if she had a birth plan. I saw her face fall as she looked directly at me, then looked quickly away. Her demeanor changed as she told us that she had already scheduled a repeat cesarean. 

Earlier in her pregnancy she had come to me asking about VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). I remember gushing about how amazing VBACs were and how empowering they can be. I remember telling her that she should go for it! I recall side-stepping her fears about uterine rupture, explaining that they are a rarity and I recall dismissing her fears about going past her estimated due date and needing to be induced. I cringe now thinking about the assumptions I made and how I projected my personal beliefs onto her. 

It was there at that baby shower that she held a mirror up to my face. After sharing that she was choosing to have a cesarean, she shared that she was nervous to tell me. She was scared that I wasn't going to be supportive or that I would try to talk her into having a VBAC. 

My spirit was crushed.

I was mortified that my passion for supporting natural birth had come across as judgmental and that my words and actions had caused shame and fear. As a doula, I often touted myself as non-judgmental and while I intentionally never made anyone feel bad about their birth experience, it was at this baby shower that I began to wonder just how non-judgmental my support really was. 

Talk about a wake up call!

In that moment I made a decision that changed my approach as a doula. As I apologized to my friend for my judgments and for making her experience seem less than, I made a commitment to myself to do better and be better. I became a doula to make a positive impact on birth and the best way I know how to do that is to be open and unconditionally supportive of all choices. And it is that attitude that we look for in all the doulas we bring onto our team. 

Our support involves no judgment.

None. Nada.

zip. zilch.

completely, 100% Judgment free.

Your birth is yours and yours alone. Yes, there will be family, friends, care providers, and your doulas surrounding you with support and love. But it is your body and your baby, therefore the choices you make are yours. We vow not to project any certain agenda or philosophy onto your unique experience.

Our doulas offer a safe space to share your beliefs about birth and parenting, your fears, and your desires.  Together, you and your doula will create a birth and postpartum plan that encompasses all your needs. And while she is there to answer your questions and offer guidance, she trusts in your capacity to make the informed decisions that are right for you. Even if your plans change down the line, the non-judgmental support will continue. 

It is our belief that with the support of your judgment-free doula positivity will surround your pregnancy, birth, and parenting journey. It is our belief that in providing space to learn and make your own decisions you will find confidence. It is our believe that in being there 100%, no questions asked, you will find comfort and peace of mind. 

The birth of your baby will forever change you. This is your experience, and we will be by your side, no matter what. Your choices are yours, not ours. Your birth is yours, not ours. Your body is yours, not ours. Your baby is yours, not ours. What is ours is our desire and passion for spending this time with you, your partner and your family, offering unconditional support and care. And we offer it happily.

The DOC Privacy Pledge

In a digital age where "likes" on Instagram are coveted and scrolling through Facebook is a daily hobby, maintaining healthy boundaries with social media can be difficult. It's a conversation we bring up with all of our birth and postpartum doula clients as well as our childbirth education students. It's always a fun topic that gets people thinking. 

Have you thought about what you'd like to share on social media when it comes to pregnancy, birth, and beyond? Have you talked to your family about how and when they can share the news of your baby's birth, photos, etc.? Will you be sharing every milestone with friends & family as your baby grows?

Every family is unique in their approach to social media and we believe it's a relevant discussion to have prior to your birth to establish boundaries with those closest to you. And the beauty is, there is no right or wrong answer! It's all about what you and your partner are comfortable sharing about your journey and experience. Some of the families we work with want to talk about their births or share about the care we provide publicly. They talk about the glorious sleep thanks to their overnight doula or post pictures of the entire birth team. We, of course, love this. Other families choose to keep everything private and off social media entirely. We, of course, respect this. We trust that you know what is best for you and your family. 

This is the main reason why Doulas of Orange County maintains strict confidentiality for all of our clients. In order to honor all of your choices and the varying degrees of involvement with social media, we chose to establish a policy that fully supports your confidentiality and privacy. We strive to maintain the highest levels of professionalism in the doula industry and our discreet care is why many choose us over the rest. 

So, what does privacy, confidentiality, and discretion mean to us?

It means that we will not post pictures of you or your baby on our social media pages. We won't share vague details or snippets of information about your birth, your baby, or your family. We won't even tell someone that you are our client, if that is your desire. If a time arises where we'd like to share more information such as a picture from your birth, a testimonial quote, a parenting success story or anything else, we will always get your permission first. And we fully respect your right to say no. Each member of our team agrees to uphold this same level of privacy, whether they are your birth doula, postpartum doula, lactation counselor, or placenta specialist. 

We love sharing about our business via social media and engaging our clients and our community. It is an incredible tool that we choose to use with integrity. Our agency is built on supporting your choices and your best vision of pregnancy, birth and parenting. It is with this in mind that we leave it up to you to decide how you'd like to share about your experience with your doulas, your baby's birth and your journey as a whole. It is your story to tell, not ours. We celebrate with you when you want to share, and we understand when you want to keep things private.

The work we do is raw, real, and intimate. We are there for some of the most incredibly vulnerable moments of your life and it is an honor to be invited into this sacred space to support your family. You put your trust in us and that is not something we take lightly. We vow to uphold that trust with our heartfelt privacy pledge.