Community, Local OC Resources, Our Favorites, Pregnancy
Lauren Foster, Co-Owner
Our Favorite Spots For a Pre-Baby Date Night in ...

As your due date nears, the reality of impending parenthood can be both exciting and overwhelming. You may be getting nervous or have anxiety around when you’ll go into labor. You may be stressing about getting the nursery ready or finalizing details for your maternity leave. That’s why planning and enjoying a big night out can provide a special opportunity to unwind, connect, and relish your partner’s company before your baby’s arrival takes center stage. I always encourage clients to schedule a “no holds barred” date night around 37 or 38 weeks - it’s a chance to take a deep breath, enjoy some quality time together, and remind yourselves why you’re a great team. Orange County offers an array of high-end, memorable spots to make this final pre-baby date night one for the books.

Our Favorite Spots For a Pre-Baby Date Night in Orange County
Birth Plan, Doulas, Motherhood, Newborns, Postpartum
Lauren Foster, Co-Owner
The Magical Golden Hour

In the quiet hush of the labor & delivery room, where the air is charged with anticipation and the scent of earthiness and birthyness, a new chapter in your life unfolds. The rhythmic cadence of your breath is mirrored by the gentle whispers of your doula, a reassuring presence in this oh so sacred moment. The culmination of nine months… maybe more, leads to this: the first hour with your newborn.

The Magical Golden Hour
Decision Making, Pregnancy, Parenting, Newborns, Our Favorites
Lauren Foster, Co-Owner
A Doula's Eco Friendly Baby Registr

When I was selecting items for my baby registry, it was really important to me to not go overboard. As a doula of 14 years, I’ve seen families get overwhelmed with the amount of stuff in their homes and nurseries and I knew I wanted to keep things on the simpler side. I also wanted to be mindful of the impact on not only the environment, but also my baby’s microbiome - which meant finding a lot of eco-friendly products to keep waste down and keep our home as “low tox” as possible. Here you’ll find some of my favorite sustainable and most useful items that I registered for.

A Doula's Eco Friendly Baby Registr
Community, Doulas, Doulas of Orange County, Local OC Resources, Our Team
Lauren Foster, Co-Owner
Calling all amazing Doulas & Newborn Care ...
Calling all amazing Doulas & Newborn Care Specialists!
Birth Plan, Decision Making, Newborns, Parenting, Postpartum, Pregnancy
National Baby Co
Early Signs That You are Pregnant with Twins ...
Early Signs That You are Pregnant with Twins or Multiples

Doulas

, , , , , , ,

Breastfeeding Ain't Easy

, , , , , , ,

We hear a lot about how wonderful and magical and beautiful breastfeeding is. We hear about the benefits to mom and baby, the cost effectiveness, and the incredible bond it can form. 

What we don't often hear about or talk about is how challenging it can really be. We don't hear about the sleepless nights, the cracked nipples, being attached to your kid 24/7 through a growth spurt. 

We believe and amplify the glamour, but shy away from the messy.

Well, I'm here to tell you that if breastfeeding was or is a challenge for you, you are not alone!

Doulas of Orange County recently posted the following picture on our Instagram feed and the response was surprising to say the least. 

, , , ,

Confident Birth :: A Childbirth Class Unlike Any Other

, , , ,

When you think of birth classes what automatically comes to mind?

Maybe you picture a bunch of pregnant women and their partners sitting on the floor with pillows doing their "hee-hee hoos." Maybe the word "Lamaze" pops into your head. Maybe you think of watching a graphic video of childbirth.

The idea of a group of expectant couples gathered to breathe, watch birth videos and talk about their fears and feelings could bring anyone to a halt when registering for a class. It's something that a lot of people reluctantly sign up for simply because it's recommended by their OBGYN or because they themselves consider it some sort of "rite of passage."

I can see why people might feel this way. These are some of the same thoughts I had before becoming a Childbirth Educator. I couldn't understand what the value of childbirth class was, especially when based on my own experiences as a Doula, each birth is so different. How could one class prepare each individual person for the type of birth they wanted or envisioned?

My tune changed pretty quickly after becoming a Childbirth Educator and I started to teach classes of my own. My goal in becoming an educator in the first place was not only to add to my skills as a professional Doula, but so I could help educate my clients and community in an unbiased way.

Too often I had clients come to me with misinformation or information clearly biased towards unmedicated birth. Too often did I have women feeling embarrassed or shamed by the choices they had made for their birth. Too often was their a feeling of disappointment in the room when the birth didn't unfold perfectly like the birth plan dictated.

What about the women who wanted an epidural?

What about the people who faced an induction and all they had been taught was that inductions were unnecessary or wrong?

What about those who were faced with a decision to have a cesarean birth?

,

Honor Your Limits

,

Being a Doula is hard. Like, REALLY hard.

It’s stunning and beautiful and profound and core-shaking and magical and fascinating. 

It's also gut-wrenching.

When a client hires you, they are hiring you to support them through some of the most intense moments of their lives. They are relying on you to be there in the thick of things... not only when things unfold as they envision, but also when things begin to fall off the rails.

When they hire you, they know that they can call you at 2am when their gassy baby is screaming her head off and nothing is working to soothe her.

When they hire you, they know you will answer an urgent text in the middle of family dinner.

They are depending on you to be the calm amongst the storm.

But what happens when you can’t be the calm in their storm?

What happens when your own life is an emotional roller-coaster? When you’re tapped out and literally have nothing else to give? When you’re so emotionally empty that the thought of attending a birth or going to one more postpartum visit leaves a pit in your stomach or brings you to tears?

TELL ME YOU HAVEN’T BEEN THERE. 
TELL ME I’M NOT ALONE.

 

There’s a reason the typical burn-out rate for Doulas is 2 years, people. 

And it’s not because we take on too many clients or because we don’t have enough help from our spouses or because we don’t take good care of ourselves (although those factors may definitely be true for some!).

It’s because being a Doula is really freaking hard. It’s also because typically in “Doula School” we aren’t taught our worth. We aren’t taught that self-care is important. We aren’t taught that our gifts have value. And we definitely aren’t taught that it’s ok to say no.

The expectations put upon Doulas is BANANAS. 

Advocate. Therapist. Midwife. Massage Therapist. Lactation Consultant. Sleep Trainer. Super Woman. All rolled into one.

This is what some Doulas claim to be. This is what is projected onto others even if the claims aren’t made by the Doulas themselves. This is what a society that doesn’t really know WHAT a Doula does, thinks we do.

I’M SORRY, BUT FUCK THAT.

 

While I may be a fantastic Doula, I am also a human.

As much as I would like to, I cannot promise a particular birth outcome. I cannot cure your Postpartum Depression. I cannot make your baby’s colic go away.

As a Birth & Postpartum Doula, I commit to support you through these life-changing experiences and I do it to the best of my ability. However, I cannot save anyone from anything. Not even myself.

I have my limits. And so do you. It’s different for each person, but that limit does exist.

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU REACH YOUR LIMIT?

 

Me? I have to force myself to take a huge step back and look at what I’m costing myself AND what I’m costing my clients by trying to push beyond my limits. It is selfish of me to think that my lack of emotional wellness won’t affect my client’s birth or postpartum experiences. It is unrealistic to think that giving anything less than my best to a client will result in them being satisfied with my services and my support. 

Quite honestly, sometimes I have to put myself first. And that is absolutely ok.

Yesterday, I made the decision to transfer a client’s care to another Doula within our agency.

I did it because I know myself well enough to know that I would not be the calm amongst her storm. That I was unable to be emotionally present for her in my current emotional state. It was not done lightly. And while I did it for my own health, I also did it for my client. Because she deserves the best support she can get. She deserves someone who has their shit together.

I currently do not. And I’m woman enough to admit it. 

Thankfully, I work for an agency that supported me in this decision and encouraged me to take care of myself. I take comfort in the fact that my client will have a tremendous Doula who is better equipped to support her in the ways that she needs. I trust that her birth will be all the more amazing because of this transfer of care.

Admitting that you are not enough is a shitty feeling. But it is not a failure. Asking for help is not a weakness. Taking time to focus on you is not wrong.It took me a long time to learn this. But I’m thankful for the lesson and for the awareness in the here and now.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF? 

How is your day-to-day life reflecting the value you place upon your own self and well-being?

In case no one has told you yet, self-care is imperative. And it often goes overlooked in the life of a Doula. It’s unfortunate but true. 

But hear this... KNOW this: YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT. You cannot live a well-balanced life without it. Your work will not be sustainable if you don’t do it. And regularly.

Please, please, please don’t be like me. Don’t put yourself last and ignore your self-care needs. Pour back into yourself so that you have something left in reserve to give to your clients. Honor your limits. Know when to say “Uncle”. And for goodness sakes, don’t apologize for it!

Hello!

Welcome to our little corner of the internet! We are pretty excited to start sharing our knowledge, experiences, stories, and tips and advice with you! All of our team members will be passing the microphone and are so excited for you to get to know us better!

OC Doula Collective is a full service Doula Agency, providing professional prenatal, birth and newborn parenting support to families in Orange County, California. Owners, Jessica Bougie and Chelsea Lynn Croce have a team of dedicated Birth and Postpartum Doulas, Placenta Specialists and Educators who provide compassionate care every step of your journey.  Our office and parent education center is located in Costa Mesa, CA. We host a variety of classes for pregnancy and parenthood, from childbirth education and baby care basics to mama support groups. Take a look around to learn about our services and packages, check our upcoming events and take a moment to meet the team.

ocdc_blog_oo2.jpg

We believe in a woman's innate ability to birth her baby. Childbirth should be a gratifying experience that unites an entire family. You are deserving of sincere support from your birth team during your childbearing year. We believe women should be the center driving force in the decisions of how her baby arrives and we are there to support you 100% in the choices you make that are best for your family. Our Doulas support mothers who choose to birth naturally or with an epidural at the hospital, at a birthing center or at home with a midwife. We have experience with water births, cesarean sections, VBAC's and a variety of childbirth education methods such as Bradley and Hypnobabies.  We recognize that the newborn stage is a time that the family deserves genuine care, gentle education and nurturing assistance as they transition in to first time or seasoned parenthood and we fill that need with our Postpartum Doulas.

We seek to provide premium support through our professionally trained, experienced, and passionate team of Doulas. It is our objective to nurture, educate, and relate on a personal level with each and every one of our remarkable clients. OC Doula Collective strives to embody the local Orange County birthing community and offer it's exquisite resources to you. We look forward to hearing your story and getting to know you!